Veruca Salt...

My greatest journalistic contribution ever...thanks to Phil Barcio - editor extraordinaire....

Source: Peal Magazine January, 1995...inaugural issue

Veruca Salt

Peal's Editor in-chief, Tiffany Sudela recently embarked on a mission to interview the band Veruca Salt. Tif wandered the corridors of Numbers searching for her contact, "Mr. Grumpy", the bands road manager. But instead, unfortunately, she ran into the band along the way. Their brief conversation went something like this:

Tif:
Excuse me, I'm Tiffany Sudela with Peal Magazine. Can any of you guys tell me where the road manager might be?

Band member Steve Shapiro:
God I hate to be interrupted...

Tif:
S'cuse me?

Band Member, Steve Lack:
I'm not his keeper, he's mine.

Road Staff:
Wait around for a while downstairs

Tif:
Could you tell him I'm here if you see him?

Road Staff:
I have to fax something...

Obviously Tiffany was wasting everyone's time, including her own. So from here on out we won't bother to conduct any real business with Veruca Salt, their road manager, or crew. Instead we'll just make a bunch of shit up, starting right now...

Interview with Veruca Salt

Tif:
So, do you guys suck or what?


Band Member Steve Shapiro:
Yes, ma'am. We do suck, very much.

Tif:
That's what I thought. I'm going to leave now.

Band Member Steve Lack:
No, don't go! Please interview us! Without free press we would get zero advertising. Even though we're signed, nobody has ever heard of us, and those who have seen us play know that we're really just a bunch of assholes!

Tif:
Interview this Steve (rude gesture)

Insert photo of Willy Wonka character Veruca Salt